Pregnancy After Loss

I'm not going to lie and say I haven't been the slightest bit paranoid this pregnancy, because I'm pretty sure that is inevitable! Maybe not the right decision but I have cut out all my workouts, Ive been laying only on my side since 5 weeks, I stay a safe distance away from my kids kicking feet, I'm afraid to squeeze into my jeans, so I just completely don't button them... or wear a mu mu. I also have taken NO nausea medications this time around. So safe to say I'm paranoid and sick. Being sick.... it stinks, but when I'm not... I pray to be, just to know there is still a baby in there! Now that I'm close to the week I lost our little boy last November, I lay awake at night, waiting to feel those first flutters. THEY'VE COME, and I can sleep! I think my heavenly fathers knows exactly what we need all the time. I'm writing this, for myself but also for a few friends of mine. The lord knows us. Its scary trying again, but nothing feels better than feeling and seeing that little spirit inside of you. The lord will take care of us, and give us the reassurances that we need, even if it come just as a little flutter.
I am doing well, and am thankful everyday for this blessing in my life. Here's to 16 weeks!

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I choose life.... and sleep!

The other day Brad and I were watching a movie on the couch when, we hear a squirrel...IN OUR HOUSE! This spring we had little baby squirrels born under our deck. Now about 3 months later, they aren't super cute, little, baby squirrels anymore. Nevertheless they stick around the house yapping and playing with one another.
Anyway... back to the squirrel in the house. We followed the noise to the storage room and found that the squirrel had fell down the chimney and was stuck in some of the pipping.   Brad opened it up and the squirrel ran back down the disgusting pipe. We kept it open to see if it would come out but it never did. WELL... that night as I was trying to sleep, but I kept hearing a huge rodent running in the walls and above my head... you could say I didn't sleep well. The next morning all I could think about is getting rid of this thing!
Since I have tried death before ("To Kill a Mockingbird") I decided I would call the animal control, and they could find a way to get this bugger out! When the animal control got here, he said the only way he could get it out, was extermination! Having already way to much blood on my hands, I decided to choose life! He would find his way out right?
 Anyway while I was at the store, Brad left the storage room open to see if he could catch the little thing. When I got back,  Brad yelled, "close the door!"
When I walked into the living room there was Brad (tuckered out) with a tiny toy net and a towel, while the squirrel across the room (tuckered out) lay on the table. As if they were both giving each other a five minute breather! I then decided to get with my inner Pocahontas, and catch this thing. This is when I wish I knew "Squirrel." Like Kronk? "Squeak, squeaker, squeaken," type thing. But I don't, so I asked the squirrel if it wanted to go outside or die! I grabbed the toy net (useless), and the towel (useless) and with Brad and I both chasing, cornering, and scaring the daylights out of the squirrel, finally we got it to go out the window....which that is not easy when you have not one, but two fake trees in your living room by the way.

Preschool!

Lil has been waiting for this day for a long time! I think i remember her asking when she was two years old if she could go to school. i never put her in preschool at 3 because I felt like I could teach her more at home than she would learn in a 2 day preschool class. 

Well lets just say she was VERY excited yesterday when she got to wear her knew outfit (thanks auntie Lisa), put her backpack on, and meet her new teachers! 

I love everything about this girl!

Brad gets mad when I try to persuade Lil to like something just because I like it. Like this backpack.... yes Lil LOVES anything princess, but there were the cutest backpacks to pick from!! Oh well, she can win this battle :)

I did win the shoe battle... it was these or pink ones (the same style) but they had laces...  wasn't about to torture myself or her teachers with laces!

Owen now wants to go to school... so Lily let him in for a couple pictures

My babies!

The culprit for my nauseousness... and happiness.

Mute my music first!

As you can tell we are pretty excited around here. Lil is just thilled to have the baby coming on her birthday! I am 11 weeks, and I THINK I might being getting over my sickness... maybe.

I showed lil the ultasound picture and she said, "Look it grew and now it can come out!"

Owen said, "EWW its bubbly"

Oh the difference between boys and girls!

Meet "Bean"

“A family can be anything as long as there is love.”

I will probably never know how is feels to have to wait longer than nine months for a baby. But having a baby in your arms no matter if you have waited 3 years or nine months, would be the most rewarding and beautiful experience a mother can imagine. God has a plan for all of us, but not a plan without trials. The trials God gives to us, where meant to make us stronger people. Enduring is not easy, but we will be strengthened. 

Brad and my great friends Sean and Reta Wallis, with there sweet little girl Shelly are anxiously awaiting to add to their already beautiful family. Reta is kind, and deserves to be a mother of 12! Her uplifting attitude, talents, and patience have made Reta to not only be a great friend, but a wonderful mother. Sean is a hard worker. Always providing for his family not only financially but through his loving attitude. He is a painter, and a teacher, both which he excels at. Can you tell I love this family?

If you or anyone you know is looking to give the gift of adoption, please have them check out Sean and Reta's site. They are no ordinary family.

https://itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/25836572/ourMessage.jsf

Dear Owen

Dear Owen,

I can't believe you're 2 already!

I can still remember how it felt to feel and see you move inside of me... you haven't stopped moving since! That's one of my favorite thing about you, you just go and go and GO! You have so much love for everyone around you, and you show it your constant hugs, kisses, sharing your toys, and even your pleases and thank yous. Although your favorite word is "huh?" and it drives me crazy, I love everything about your sweet little voice. When you tell me you love me, my heart melts. I see so much in you. You are going to make a great man one day. 

I think God knows what children we need in our lives. Sometimes I need love, sometimes I need a friend, a lot of the times I need patience! You give me all. Tonight as I put you to bed, I leaned down to give you a kiss, and you wrapped your arms around my neck (wasn't really the most comfortable position) and you didn't let go.  Made me cry. I hope you never change. 

I can see my dad in you. Every time I look at you. You have his eyes. Lucky boy.

Your so smart. ABC's, 123's, you got them down!

I love to hear you sing. Your favorite song is" Jesus wants me for a sunbeam."

Although you think its SUN BEEP!

You are a awesome brother. You and Lily love each other SO much. You're best friends.

I want you to stay little forever, but I'm too excited to see you grow. For now though, just be my baby boy. Tell me you love me, hug me for hours, and give me enough kisses to last for the years you'll be too embarrassed to kiss me in front of your friends.  

Happy Birthday.

I LOVE YOU!

Who taught you to sew?

I think both my mother and grandmother would fight over who my sewing skills came from... but to be fair mom... you got it from grandma!

No but in all seriousness, my Grandma is one amazing person! It was probably a month before I got married I decided I wanted to make Brad a quilt.... well actually I was like " Crap, Christmas is right after our honeymoon, and I got nothin!"

SO my Grandma took it upon her to teach me how to sew. 

PLUS this was in the cute newlywed stage where home made presents were "ahhhhh so cute".... anyway.

I had never even sat within 3 feet of a sewing machine, when my grandma taught me all her magic! I started buying patterns, and when I couldn't understand something she taught me how to read patterns.

This is where my love of sewing started. Since then, she has sent me a sewing machine when mine decided to hate me. She sends me extra material, and even takes the time to rip cute things out of her magazines that she thinks I should try and make....still! She's awesome in every way!

LOVE YOU GRANDMA

*** For more pictures of my new green dress visit HIGH MAINTENANCE

Do you want to learn to sew? Come and Ill teach you everything I know!

Email me for details.

Faces of Lily

Brad and I could help but laugh at these pictures. Not only because of the hilarious faces Lil has, but the fact that she looks like one of the girls on the TV show "Toddlers in Tiaras." But no, this is just her getting ready for her dance pictures.

As you can tell my life is definitely not lacking excitement. Lil is such a clown, and can bring a smile to any ones face. Her recital is tomorrow, and she is going to be awesome! I watched her dress rehearsal yesterday, and everyone couldn't help but laugh at her... or I guess with her. 

GOOD LUCK LILY!

Back to reality...

We had a great time visiting family in Washington! There is so much to do there, and I loved it! I didn't want to come home!

We Spent my Birthday, walking around Deception Pass, and the beach.

 We cruised the Zoo.

 It was fun to see my niece, and nephews sports games.

 We took walks and played at the park

 We went to Pike place and walked the streets. This nice man, let the boys play his drum.

 I could live at Pike Place Market.... Literally.

 We got to spend some time with Aunt Jen and her horses.  Gotta love me some Aunt Jenni.

We played hard...

And we crashed hard!   

And by the end of it we were pooped! Yes... this is 15 year old Alias, using Lil as a pillow!! SO CUTE!

Easter Overload

Be ready for a picture OVERLOAD! Easter was a success! On Saturday Brad stood in a HUGE line, just so the kids could see the Easter Bunny..... at the grocery store... kind of ghetto right? Welcome to life in Logan.
So sit back, grab a Diet Coke, and ENJOY!

I bought confetti eggs, and I loved them! You hide them with the rest of the eggs, but instead of sticky candy, you get colorful awesomeness!

"Look mom"

The kids had such a great time looking for eggs. This is the first year where both kids, new how to look and find the eggs for themselves. Barb made a delicious dinner, and the kids were happy playing in the yard.

Pouring confetti on mom.

Brad didn't really enjoy the confetti... unless he was throwing one at me!

Hope you had the best Easter!

Love us!